The Official Receiver’s Sexy Voice
4 April 2007 ‘’Hello,’’ Debtdummy asked answering the telephone. ‘’It’s, Mr Dashing from the Official Receiver’s office. Is it convenient for you to talk Mrs Debtdummy?’’ Debtdummy melted when she heard that smooth sexy voice. It reminded her of Richard Burton’s voice in the movie Cleopatra. Immediately visions of hot arid romantic Egyptian nights sprang to mind. There she was hand feeding Richard Burton seedless white grapes. Wearing a beautiful golden coloured silk … ‘’Hello, Mrs Debtdummy are you there, he asked curiously. ‘’Huh? Oh, yes yes, sorry, Mr Dashing,’’ she stuttered embarrassed. ‘’ I don’t understand your expenditure items like: den for £35, drcl for £20 and MOD £25. ‘‘ Debtdummy explained the application online would only allow 200 characters in the box so she created her version of shorthand.
She told him the den meant dentist, the drcl meant dry-cleaning and the MOD was Mother’s Day. She heard him chuckle at that one. Mr Dashing told Debtdummy that was no need for an office visit as he had all that he required from the court forms. He explained that if one was required he would be contacting her.’’ Yippee!’’ She shouted to herself. ‘’ By post,’’ he continued. ‘’And you’ll be receiving a packet in the post it should be self-explanatory. ‘’Yes, Sir,’’ she sighed disappointedly.
‘’Better to sound like Richard Burton than Alfred Hitchcock,’’ Debtdummy thought as she booted her system. She went to Yahoo IM and told her two Internet friends scaredkez and Freelily about the sexy voice of her Official Receiver. ‘’ He sounds soooo lush as in delicious,’’ she typed. Scaredkez typed hers needed a haircut and resembled Rumpole of the Baily.’’ Freelily typed how lucky Debtdummy was to deal with someone who sounds like Richard Burton. Debtdummy then went to the iva.co.uk website and left a post telling others about her Official Receiver’s voice. Another Internet friend she met there, Skippy13 left a reply post stating,’’ Ohhh, dreamy, tell him to recite you some Shakespeare.’’
The packet arrived. The letter from the official receiver enclosed stated he needed by the end of two weeks: the last 12 bank statements, the last 12 credit card statements, all credit agreement contracts, pension and life insurance information and all chequebooks, bank cards and credit cards. It continued to instruct Debtdummy to cut the cards in half before sending them through the post. Debtdummy didn’t have the last 12 of any statements mentioned and left an email to her Official Receiver stating she had shredded them. He replied saying that was quite all right as he could always obtain them directly.
12 April 2007 The Debtdummys received an IPA. ‘’Gee, babes this is better than the monthly figure for our IVA,’’ Mr Debtdummy whistled.’’ Lower payment and allowed the actual figures too. Not bad, not bad at all.’’ Debtdummy nodded in agreement looking at the papers,’’ I wonder why the IVA expenditure figures can be fiddled with by IPs, but not the expenditures of a bankruptcy by the OR? He could have increased the IPA by lowering the expenditure figures. Odd that, hon.’’
‘’Oh look,’’ Debtdummy frowned at the sheets ,’’ He didn’t allow Mother’s Day, birthdays, contingency funds, or Little Debtdummy’s monthly university amount.’’ After thinking it over they decided the official receiver did what was fair. His job was to ensure the creditors get as much money as possible for the IPA. They did get to keep both cars and this made then feel somewhat better. Little Debtdummy’s university money will come out of the remaining funds they decided.
28 April 2007 ‘’ Hello? Oh it’s you, hon.’’ Debtdummy spoke to her hubby sweetly. ‘’ NO, no way!’’ she said in disbelief into the receiver,’’ you received a pay rise and a bonus in June? Well, congratulations.’’ Debtdummy knew she had 21 days to inform the Official Receiver about the increase in income and the bonus. She returned the receiver back to its cradle and emailed the Official Receiver. He replied through email stating he wanted the wage slips of April, May and June and the IPA will increase accordingly. Until that time keep the increase. As for the bonus when her hubby receives it in June do inform him of it and it will be dealt with at that time. ‘’Yes!’’ Debtdummy exclaimed.’’ The increase is ours, well for 3 months anyway. I’ll put it into the savings account.’’
9 May 2007 The Debtdummys had received notice of the IPA, but have not heard anything else regarding it. Debtdummy started to worry, as she knew its duration was for 36 months from the time of the first payment. The longer the first payment took to be made, the longer the IPA would drag out. She decided to contact the Official Receiver. ‘’ Hello, Mr Dashing,’’ she cooed into the receiver.’’ We haven’t heard about where to send the IPA payments yet.’’ Mr Dashing in a voice that could melt chocolate explained they have been busy, but there will be a letter sent to her shortly.’’ Debtdummy giggled like a schoolgirl infatuated with a pimply faced boy, ‘’ Okay, Mr Dashing, thank you. Good bye.’’
11 May 2007 The letter regarding the IPA payments arrived. Debtdummy opened it and showed it to her hubby. The letter stated that the Official Receiver had arranged an agent Clarke Wilmott to collect the payments. ‘’ Someone from that firm will contact you shortly to make arrangements for your payments to commence,’’ he concluded. Debtdummy wondered
how long that would take. ‘’Gee, they must be busy,’’ she said sadly,’’ and that’s not good. Is it, hon?’’ Her hubby slowly shook his head from side to side. He didn’t have to say a word.
They both thought about the thousands of people that Clarke Wilmott handled an IPA for and knew each one had made a very difficult and painful decision. They remained in silence reviewing in their minds the past year of their lives.